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  • 25 April, 2018

Broken Mama: Eating Alone In My Car And Praying

23 February, 2013 by Magz Leave a Comment

Broken-Mama

The door slammed behind me and I breathed in a wave of cold air.
The shock of it felt good. Walking out felt good.

I got in the car, put my belt on and put the keys in the ignition.

Then I stopped.

My hands gripped the steering wheel and I let my head drop to my chest. I knew that if I rested my head on the wheel like I wanted to, I’d break down in tears; but I also knew that I couldn’t drive off yet. Although I was in a completely emotional whirlwind, and my adrenalin was still pumping, thankfully I had enough presence of mind to know that I needed to calm down a little before driving. (Plus, if I cried, they would win. I didn’t want them to break me, I wasn’t giving in.)

I took a few deep breaths.

My heart was still racing but I was a little calmer.

I turned the ignition on and started driving.

As I pulled out onto the main road, my mind started swirling. Should I do some window shopping? Have a look for some of the things I had been wanting to check out for a while but never got the chance to? If I did that, I’d be shaking with hunger in about 10 minutes. I had missed breakfast trying to get everyone out the door and by now, it was way past my usual lunchtime. I needed to eat soon or my blood sugar would nosedive and I’d end up needing medical attention.

I drove past one set of shops and on to the next. The McDonald’s was in the same place as a few other shops I wanted to go to so I thought that might be a good option. Somehow though, a part of me was thinking ‘I can’t do that, the kids would be so upset to hear I ate there when they couldn’t…’ (I have always had trouble enjoying things on my own that I know the kids (and/or Chris) would enjoy too.) Most of the time, I end up going without rather than letting myself have the pleasure without them. But the other voice in my head said, ‘So what?! They lost their chance and I shouldn’t deny myself because of them.’

I pulled in to the carpark across from the McDonald’s and sat for a few minutes trying to decide what to do. In the end I decided I would let myself have this pleasure without any guilt and drove over to get my meal. I ordered and decided to go back to where I was originally parked since the McDonald’s carpark is really small and I didn’t want to take a space away from someone who wanted to eat inside.

I backed up my seat to stretch out a bit and took a few sips of my drink. It was icy cold and soothed my parched throat. With each bite I took I started to feel a little more relaxed. I turned up the radio and actually listened without any background noise or interruptions. I watched people go in and out of the shops and wondered about the stories of their lives. It seemed ridiculous to me that I could be enjoying a fast food meal in my car, on my own, quite so much. Feelings of guilt started to creep in again but I pushed them away.

fast_food_meal

I checked my phone to see what had been happening to the rest of the world while my morning was being so splendidly wrecked. An interesting article from Forbes that one of my friends had posted on Facebook caught my eye. It was all about the habits of successful leaders. As I read it, I immediately thought that it could apply to parenting just as much as business. When it talked about ‘leading your team,’ all I could think was that the kids were ‘my team.’ There were 15 points and as I read each one, I realised that I had failed at every single one. I had let my team down.

I blinked to hold back the tears that were filling my eyes. I folded my arms on the steering wheel and this time let my head drop onto them.

I started praying. It was all I could think to do. I felt so completely broken.

I prayed that God would forgive me… that my family would forgive me. I prayed to be a better mother and wife. I prayed to be a better person. I prayed for patience and for a mother’s eyes to see her children’s hearts.

I  prayed… And then I went home.

 

Click here for Part 1 of the Broken Mama series.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: broken mama, eating in my car, motherhood, praying

Broken Mama: Today I Walked Out On My Family

22 February, 2013 by Magz Leave a Comment

Broken-Mama

Today my heart hurts. I am exhausted.

Today… I am broken.

It has probably been one of my worst parenting days. Ever.
And it started out with such promise too…

This week is half-term break for many of the schools in the UK. At the beginning of the year Chris and I had talked about making more of an effort to go out and do activities, even if we couldn’t go away anywhere. It was starting to feel like we were letting life run away from us. I am not going to lie, times are tough around here and the budget is tighter than tight. But we realised that if we let that rule us, our family life would pass us by and we would have few, if any, special memories to look back on.

So, today was *supposed* to be a family day out at a wonderful world heritage sight, which is set up as a Victorian town. We thought the girls would be interested in seeing all the costumes and trying out the different hands-on exhibits, especially since at least one of them has studied the Victorian period in school. Unfortunately, last night I looked at the weather forecast. It was typical that the last two days had been bright and sunny, but today was forecast to be colder and cloudy. I spent a few hours last night researching indoor attractions, in case we had to scrap the (largely outdoor) Victorian town.

It turns out that the yearly Camping and Caravanning Show is on this week. It’s not something I normally would give any thought to, but in light of the fact that holidays abroad are currently not in the budget, and knowing how much the girls LOVED their first holiday break in a motorhome a few months ago, I thought it would be fun to check out all the gadgets and equipment on show, as well as many holiday destinations that showcase themselves.

water_zorbing

So I peeked out of squinted eyes the moment I woke up to see a dark cloudy sky and a light drizzle falling. *Great*, I thought, as I woke up Chris to discuss the day’s plans. We decided that the best idea would be to go to the indoor Camping and Caravanning Show. To make it a little more of an event, I thought it would be fun to have a McDonald’s breakfast on our way. (We probably eat there about four or five times a year.) Secretly, I also figured it would get people moving faster to get ready. We have only gone out to breakfast a handful of times and I thought they would see it as a real treat.

If they did, it sure didn’t show. Instead of rushing to get ready and out the door they played around in the bathroom and had to be repeatedly reminded to get washed and dressed. Of course, in my mind, I’m thinking, ‘Are we telling them to do something they’ve never heard of? Isn’t this exactly the same routine EVERY morning?… the SAME routine they’ve been doing since they were babies?!’

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, our 8 yr old woke up (reluctantly) and decided she was going to go downstairs to play instead of getting dressed. She started to whine about how everything would be *BORING* and how she didn’t want to go anywhere. Things got as bad as me snatching the toothbrush out of her hand and me brushing her teeth for her. She was in tears and I was getting more and more annoyed about my beautiful morning being ruined. (Sigh…)

Things did not get any better.

Chris was now following the girls around to get them to do what they had to. I had retreated to my office to finish getting ready and to take some time out to try to calm down. It was now too late to get a McDonald’s breakfast and that part of the plan was out the door. Eventually, it was too late to go ANYWHERE and I told Chris to forget it. He wasn’t too pleased and I don’t think he agreed about scrapping the day, but I was at my limit. I was tired of trying to plan nice things to be sabotaged by the rest of the family and having to PLEAD with them to do simple things.

Things got even WORSE.

Chris came up to the office and asked gingerly, ‘how about if we go to McDonald’s for lunch?’ (Ever the optimist, trying to salvage a bad situation…)

I looked at him and paused before roaring, ‘ARE YOU CRAZY? THEY DON’T DESERVE IT, I’M NOT REWARDING BAD BEHAVIOUR!’

For a little moment (just a little one) I felt sorry for him as he walked back downstairs with his shoulders slumped. Mostly, I was just infuriated though.

I could hear him talking to/pleading with/yelling at the girls downstairs as he decided that they would all go to the grocery store and get some food for lunch. They came up to tell me the plan and get their shoes on. Then Miss Misery stomped up the stairs. ‘I am NOT going. I don’t care if I don’t eat.’ Chris started trying to reason with her. She didn’t budge. THEN I heard her say, ‘We could just order a takeaway. Yeah! Let’s call Domino’s!’ She was bargaining with everything she could think of.

The whining voice was going right through me. I became more and more angry. My breathing got shallow. I shut my eyes tight and tried to take deep breaths. Each time I tried, I felt a new wave of anger wash over me. My fists were clenched in my lap. I unclenched and clenched them again.

I got up silently, walked downstairs, and put on my coat. By this time, Chris had followed me downstairs. ‘Where are you going?’ he asked quietly.

Through gritted teeth I hissed, ‘I don’t know… and I don’t know if I’m coming back.’

With that, I picked up my keys, slammed the door, and walked out.

(To be continued…)

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: broken mama, motherhood, parenting, walked out on family

A Fun Way to Set Goals With Your Kids at New Year’s

21 January, 2013 by Magz Leave a Comment

Hi everyone, Happy 2013!
(Yes, I know we are three weeks into January, but better late than never!) 😉

I wanted to share a quick post with you about a fun thing we did with the girls this year. A lot of us like to set resolutions for the New Year and I’m definitely one of ‘those’ people. The girls have obviously noticed this about me- (Mummy and her lists, to-do boards etc…) Luckily for me, they are interested in trying it out themselves and I found a cute way to do this with them.

Based on some inspiration I found in my travels around the blogosphere, I designed my own version of a New Year’s Goals Sheet for the girls.

Kids-New-Years-Printable

I love that this goal-setting activity teaches the kids some amazing life skills, but even better than that- if you save them over the years and put them into a book (which is another project I’ll be telling you about,) you have a beautiful record about each child as they grow up.

We all enjoyed this activity as a family, and I’ll be showing you the printable I designed for us grownups in one of my upcoming posts.

This idea can be adapted for setting goals at any time, but it’s great to do at the beginning of the year.

Do you do resolutions or goal-setting with your kids? Leave me a comment and tell me about it.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: children goals, kids resolutions, New Year's resolutions for kids, setting goals with kids

August Challenge- Week 1

9 August, 2012 by Magz Leave a Comment

Hi everyone!

How is the August Challenge to pray for your children going? I have to admit that the first few days I actually forgot about it. (!) (I am going to beg forgiveness and explain that one of my very best friends since childhood was visiting me from the States and didn’t leave until the 4th of August.) This only ‘slightly’ distracted me…LOL 😉

It’s all back to normal now…**sigh**… and I am enjoying praying for my daughters. I am a very visual person, so I made some beautiful daily reminders like this one:

I post one on my Facebook page every day. So stop by to get your daily reminder and let me know how you’re doing while you’re there! Days 1-9 are there now if you’d like to print them for your use. If you’d prefer, you can also print the complete 31 Days graphic from my August Challenge post.

This is a very important challenge for all of us, keep up the great work!

Filed Under: Faith, Family Tagged With: 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray For Your Children, 31 Day Challenge, August Challenge

31 Day Challenge- August 2012

26 July, 2012 by Magz 4 Comments

As you know, things are changing around here. Not only on the blog, but in my life.

One of the things I know that I have been totally neglecting is my prayer-life. You know that I am a believer in the Law of Attraction and everything happening for a reason. Recently, I was reminded of this in a wonderful way. During my blog re-design, I was researching many sites for ideas and inspiration. In my travels, I came upon a site called Gracefull Home that was talking about praying for your children. I was intrigued and read the post.

The ladies there are challenging their readers to pray every day in August for their children. I know this challenge was something I was meant to come across. I know that God is giving me an amazingly easy way to get back to praying.  So I am listening. And I am doing.

I would love for you to join me. It’s easy and only takes a few minutes a day.  I would like to say here that you don’t only have to be a parent to join this challenge. You can be an aunt, uncle, brother, sister, grandparent or just an amazing friend! The 31 Biblical Virtues To Pray For Your Children are by Bob Hostetler. There is a quick prayer point for each day. If you want to do a little extra, there is a verse or two listed on each day that you can read which will help you go a little deeper in prayer. How much you want to do is entirely up to you.

The ladies at Gracefull Home had a really nice graphic that they will be using to visually remind them every day. I couldn’t resist designing my own version and here it is. You can click on it for a larger version which you are welcome to print for your challenge. Please feel free to share it. Post it somewhere you will see every day. Mine is going above my desk so I see it all the time. If you would prefer not to print it out, you can either check back here every day and use the online version, or use the typed list under the graphic.

Finally, please leave a comment below if you are joining me in this challenge. You don’t have to, I am perfectly fine if you’d like to stay anonymous. But, if you do leave a comment and let me know, it would be my pleasure to pray individually for each and every one of you and your children.

Let’s see how many of us can get praying in August!

 

1. Salvation
“Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.”
(Isa. 45:8; 2 Tim. 2:10)

2. Growth in Grace
“I pray that my children may grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”
(2 Pet. 3:18)

3. Love
“Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love, through the Spirit who dwells in them.”
(Gal. 5:25; Eph. 5:2)

4. Honesty and Integrity
“May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection.”
(Ps. 25:21)

5. Self-Control
“Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be alert and self-controlled in all they do.”
(1 Thess. 5:6)

6. Love for God’s Word
“May my children grow to find Your Word more precious than much pure gold and sweeter than honey from the comb.”
(Ps. 19:10)

7. Justice
“God, help my children to love justice as You do and act justly in all they do.”
(Ps. 11:7; Mic. 6:8)

8. Mercy
“May my children always be merciful, just as their Father is merciful.”
(Luke 6:36)

9. Respect (for self, others, and authority)
“Father, grant that my children may show proper respect to everyone, as Your Word commands.”
(1 Pet. 2:17)

10. Biblical Self-Esteem
“Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus.”
(Eph. 2:10)

11. Faithfulness
“Let love and faithfulness never leave my children, but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts.”
(Prov. 3:3)

12. Courage
“May my children always be strong and courageous in their character and in their actions.”
(Deut. 31:6)

13. Purity
“Create in them a pure heart, O God, and let that purity of heart be shown in their actions.”
(Ps. 51:10)

14. Kindness
“Lord, may my children always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”
(1 Thes. 5:15)

15. Generosity
“Grant that my children may be generous and willing to share, and so lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age.”
(1 Tim. 6:18-19)

16. Peace-Loving
“Father, let my children make every effort to do what leads to peace.”
(Rom. 14:19)

17. Joy
“May my children be filled with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.”
(1 Thes. 1:6)

18. Perseverance
“Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to run with perseverance the race marked out for them.”
(Heb. 12:1)

19. Humility
“God, please cultivate in my children the ability to show true humility toward all.”
(Titus 3:2)

20. Compassion
“Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion.”
(Col. 3:12)

21. Responsibility
“Grant that my children may learn responsibility, for each one should carry his own load.”
(Gal. 6:5)

22. Contentment
“Father, teach my children the secret of being content in any and every situation, through Him who gives them strength.”
(Phil. 4:12-13)

23. Faith
“I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children’s hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them.”
(Luke 17:5-6; Heb. 11:1-40)

24. A Servant’s Heart
“God, please help my children develop servant’s hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly, as if they were serving the Lord, not men.”
(Eph. 6:7)

25. Hope
“May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
(Rom. 15:13)

26. Willingness and Ability to Work
“Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work at it with all their heart, as working for the Lord and not for men.”
(Col. 3:23)

27. Passion for God
“Lord, please instill in my children a soul that followeth hard after thee, one that clings passionately to You.”
(Ps. 63:8)

28. Self-Discipline
“Father, I pray that my children may acquire a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair.”
(Prov. 1:3)

29. Prayerfulness
“Grant, Lord, that my children’s lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers.”
(1 Thess. 5:17)

30. Gratitude
“Help my children to live lives that are always overflowing with thankfulness and always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
(Eph. 5:20; Col. 2:7)

31. A Heart for Missions
“Lord, please help my children to develop a desire to see Your glory declared among the nations, Your marvelous deeds among the peoples.”
(Ps. 96:3)

Filed Under: Faith, Family Tagged With: 31 Biblical Virtues to Pray For Your Children, 31 Day Challenge, parenting, prayer

Our Adventure to the Birmingham Christmas Market

19 December, 2011 by Magz Leave a Comment

For the past few years Hubs and I have been talking about going to the German Christmas Market in Birmingham. It is billed as the biggest Christmas Market outside of Germany and with the combination of me loving Christmas and Hubs having lived in Germany…we knew the Christmas markets would be high on our list of things to do with the family. Unfortunately, flying to Germany has not been an option, so Birmingham seemed the perfect solution.

Perfect…if we could actually get there…. Two years ago we had planned to go but Hubs’s mum was ill. Last year, it was me, then Hubs…

This year, I got over my obligatory chest infection just in time and we were amazingly ‘good to go’! His parents made the trip up to us for the weekend and we were off. The forecasted snow seemed to miss us and we were hopeful that everything would be perfect this year. The sun was out when we left and we were all excited with the anticipation….

The closer we got to Birmingham, the darker the clouds became and we started hitting a few patches of rain. Still, we held out hope that we were driving through the patches and Birmingham would be ok.

We got there and after driving around the multi-story carpark for a while, found two parking spaces. We had made it. Emerging from the carpark, the sky was cloudy and dark, but dry. I’m sure we were all thinking the same thing, hoping it would hold out… I don’t know about the others but I certainly said a silent prayer, or twelve…

We started walking towards the Market and finally made it there. We were probably at the third stall when it started sprinkling. I started telling myself  ‘this is England…it’s just a shower….it will stop any minute.’ It did. For about five minutes.

Then is started coming down steadily. We all had hats on, but unfortunately ALL of us had forgotten our umbrellas! (I know…don’t say anything.) There were two choices, we could either just keep going, or go home. After all that anticipation and actually making it there, it wasn’t much of a decision. So, we plodded on. Eventually the kids started complaining of being hungry so we found some frankfurters and wurst and ate…in…the…cold….rain. Luckily, eventually, I spotted a little set of tables that were under a gazebo and we were able to sit down and be a little bit drier.

Our four year old decided to tell us in no uncertain terms that she wanted a drink of juice. We went to several stalls and none of them had any. So we went on a little adventure to find some. We finally ducked into a cafe which had bottled juices and made our way back to where they were all sitting.

By then, they were finished eating and had got hot chocolates from one of the food stalls next to where we were camped out. Chris and I got our food and Little Miss was finally happy with her juice. Unfortunately it wasn’t long before she started shivering so we rushed through our food while Grammie and Grandad took the girls to the carousel.

They had their ride and soon after, she started crying. The poor little thing was just soaked and freezing. I couldn’t really blame her. I was freezing myself. The wet had just made things a thousand times worse. After a little discussion, we decided to make our way back to the Bullring Shopping Centre to warm up and maybe head back out to the other side of the Market afterwards.

In the end, it was a good decision. We managed to get a few last minute Christmas pressies and the girls were much happier being warm and dry. They even had a little look around the Build-a-Bear Workshop and the Disney Shop.

So…we made it….we’ve been to the Birmingham Christmas Market. It was nice, but hopefully next year we’ll have better weather to be able to enjoy it more and not have to rush through it.

 

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Birmingham Bullring, Birmingham Christmas Market, Birmingham Frankfurt Christmas Market, Christmas Market

A Disney Princess Party To Get Ready For Christmas

7 December, 2011 by Magz 3 Comments

As you probably know, we have three girls. They are between the ages of 4 and 8…and that means a lot of opportunities for our house to be filled with everything ‘Princess’. A LOT.

So, I can’t even begin to tell you how absolutely beside themselves they were when they found out we had received a Disney Princess Party pack from Flair. I have to agree with them, it was a fantastic assortment. The pack included:

  • Disney Princess Magic Rise Oven
  • Disney Princess Memory Card Game
  • Disney Princess Colouring sheets
  • Magic Cupcake Recipe
  • Party Game Ideas

So, the girls all invited some friends, they all dressed up as Princesses and we had a tea party. Mums came too and we all had a great time. Unfortunately, I was so busy pretending with the little people that I didn’t take any pictures of the (real) cakes.

The real star of the show was the Magic Rise Oven. I have to admit that even the ‘grown-ups’ loved this. The oven has two cakes that you roll with a rolling pin (or you can squash it with your hands to pretend you’re kneading) and flatten. Then you put them in the oven, wave the magic wand, and in about a minute, the cake has ‘risen’ and is ready! (I’m told this works with magnets, but frankly, I don’t care, I prefer the ‘magic’ ;))

The oven is made by Jakks Pacific and they also make a totally amazing Disney Princesses Ultimate Fairytale Kitchen (which we already had). The girls had a great time being transported into the world of  Disney Princesses and our living room was turned into the Castle Kitchens.

If you’d like more information on the Ultimate Fairytale Kitchen, we did a video review of it for UKMums.tv.

Disclosure: We were provided with these items as PR samples but all opinions are strictly our own. This post contains affiliate links. If you’re interested in these products, using these links really helps us out! Thanks so much 🙂

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Disney Princess Magic Rise Oven, Disney Princess Tea Party, Disney Princess Ultimate Kitchen

Our Sylvanian Families Royal Wedding

5 December, 2011 by Magz Leave a Comment

It’s Sylvanian Families’ 25th Anniversary this year. What better way to celebrate than with a wedding!

The girls could hardly contain themselves when they received this set. I had seen Sylvanian Families advertised before, but because we have quite a few other collections going right now, I hadn’t bought any. Now…all I can say is…I’m hooked! I don’t know who loves them more, them or me?

If you haven’t seen Sylvanian Families, they are a world famous range of collectibles. All the characters are animals; everything from rabbits, cats, and dogs to polar bears, meerkats, and pandas.  They have a classic timeless look and there is incredible attention to detail in the clothes, the buildings, and especially the accessories. Everything is so lifelike that you can’t help but be transported into the village of Sylvania. The toys are solid and will definitely last for years. You’ll want to keep them long after the children outgrow them. They’re beautiful just to look at.

This set is inspired by the Royal Wedding and includes 6 figures:

  • William Balmoral- groom
  • Catherine Chocolate- bride
  • Rev. Kelvin Waters
  • James- pageboy
  • Louise- bridesmaid
  • Amelia-bridesmaid

Because we didn’t have any Sylvanian Families already and the set doesn’t come with any buildings, we used our imagination. The set comes packaged with a cardboard backdrop of a church and we propped that up as our church. It really didn’t matter, we had just as much fun having our wedding. (And by ‘we’, yes, I mean me too.) 🙂

We were also sent George and Mildred Mulberry and they came to the wedding in their motorcycle and sidecar. They were our only guests, but I think it’s safe to say that fun was had by all 🙂

Once again, I can’t rave enough about the attention to details. The cycle box of the motorcycle contains tiny, little manuals and maps that actually open up to be read. You can also take off George and Mildred’s helmets.

If you’re looking for Christmas gifts for your little girls this year, Sylvanian Families is perfect. There are sets for every price range so you can even get family and friends to help add to the collection.  You’ll have your very own Sylvanian village in no time!

 

Disclosure: These are PR samples, but all views and opinions are completely our own.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Sylvanian Families, Sylvanian Families review, Sylvanian motorcycle, Sylvanian Royal Wedding Celebration

Do You Pay Your Kids for Chores?

6 November, 2011 by Magz Leave a Comment

The kids were getting restless today, as were Chris and me. The house was a mess and no one wanted to pitch in and get it done. I saw the day slipping away and in a slightly desperate moment, I blurted out to my younger two, ‘OK kids, if you wipe down the (leather) sofa, I’ll give you 50p each.’ They looked at me for about a split second and couldn’t run fast enough to ask Daddy for the special leather cleaning wipes. He looked at me with a look of ‘really?’ (also for about a split second) before handing them over and watching them get to work. I decided I had to be fair and offered my oldest daughter the opportunity to tear herself away from the TV and earn £1 for cleaning her bathroom. She (thankfully) jumped at the chance. I proceeded to make her a list of what to do and in what order and she went up to get started. I supervised the younger two while Chris went up to help the oldest. The next half hour was bliss. Everyone was working together, there was no squabbling, or whinging or nagging. Every task got done, and in fact, my oldest, along with my husband, proceeded to do our bathroom and vacuum upstairs too. (She got £1.50 for her efforts.)

This whole thing happened spontaneously, but Chris and I had discussed allowance and using money as part of a reward system before. At the beginning, I was totally against it. I reasoned that the kids got the things they wanted between birthday and Christmas gifts and random treats throughout the year. I didn’t think they should get paid to do things that need to be done in the course of running a household. Everyone needs to do their part to contribute as a part of the family. I do still believe that, but over time, I have also seen a need to teach children about money management and about having an entrepreneurial spirit. I never received an allowance growing up and I wish I had. I would like to teach my kids the value of money. How to save for something with your own hard-earned money. What is feels like to part with the cash. How to prioritise purchases. These are invaluable life lessons and I believe they are just as important as teaching your child to swim or how to wash and dress themselves. If they don’t learn how to handle money well right from the start, it will be much harder when they get older.

So what we have ended up with is a new star chart system. If they get a certain number of stars, they receive a set amount of money. If they don’t, they don’t get any money. This is the current set-up, but when I had originally considered linking money with their behaviour system, I had made it like a banking system. Each star (task or behaviour) was worth a certain amount of money. There was a maximum that could be earned, but if a star was not achieved, then the money also was not earned. I am still undecided about which way I prefer, but I’ll try what we’re doing right now for a few weeks and then compare the earlier idea. ( I still think the banking idea teaches them even more about how money works.)

I know that allowance and using money in a reward system is a hot issue. In fact, I got flamed on Twitter by a random person for ‘paying my kids off’. But I still stand by what we’re doing. It might not be right for everyone, but it’s right for us right now. Do you give your kids an allowance? Is it tied to behaviour or chores? How do you feel about it? Please leave me a comment. I always love learning from all of you, and maybe you will show me something I haven’t considered yet.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Filed Under: Family, Featured, NaBloPoMo Tagged With: behaviour, kids allowance, NaBloPoMo, star charts

Bonfire Night- A Family Tradition

5 November, 2011 by Magz Leave a Comment

Today is Bonfire Night in England, also known as Guy Fawkes Night. For those who don’t know, it’s the celebration of the thwarting of a plan to blow up Parliament back in the 1600’s. To celebrate, people usually light bonfires and attend fireworks displays (these are mostly done on a large scale for the public to attend, rather than private bonfires at home, but fireworks are legal and most people do a small display at home).

Our kids are 4, 5 1/2 and 7 1/2 years old, and so far, we have decided not to stand out in the cold (and frequently rainy) weather with kids this age at the public displays but usually have a small celebration at home with our own fireworks and sparklers. It has worked for our family until now, but I think starting next year we’ll be braving the weather and attending a public event. As with most holidays, certain foods are associated with the celebration. We seem to have started a trend of having hot dogs and chips or jacket potatoes. Toffee apples are a traditional treat on Bonfire Night and we have modified that and have pieces of apple that we dip in a caramel sauce. Much easier to eat but with the same flavours.

What we didn’t realise is how quickly kids pick up on things and take them as fact. When Chris and I were making our shopping list, little voices piped up with ‘we’re having hot dogs tonight,’ and ‘Daddy, don’t forget the apples and cara-mil’. I had to smile listening to them and realising how quickly traditions are made and how much they mean to children. Sure, hot dogs are probably the worst food on the planet nutritionally, but once a year, I think I can give in and throw caution to the wind. (Having hot dogs is throwing caution to the wind…can you believe how exciting my life is?) LOL… For the sake of making memories that my kids will look back on nostalgically one day, I’ll enjoy my hot dog and I’ll stand out in the cold to watch fireworks. (This is something to get used to for me…my own memories of fireworks are in the hot July summers of the East coast in America.)

How about you? How do you celebrate Bonfire Night? Do you have any special foods or family traditions? Leave me a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Family, NaBloPoMo Tagged With: Bonfire Night, family traditions, Guy Fawkes, NaBloPoMo

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Writer. Grammar Geek. Dance Teacher. Stationery Addict. Creative Soul. Soul Searcher. Read More…

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